Bola de Espejos

Written by Leandro Fogliatti

Translated by Esteban Rico

So, Nacho and I were going together to Fernando and Scott’s wedding party.  We were going in his car.  Nacho has a car and he loves to drive and he doesn’t get stressed out at all. He’s perfect. Or maybe he’s straight!  My gaydar started ringing an alarm. After all, the only other time I had seen him before, he was with that inappropriate blonde chick. “Wouldn’t your girlfriend be upset by this change of plans?” I subtly asked him in order to start clearing a few things up. As soon as I asked the question, I regretted each and every word I had just said. Nacho didn’t seem to understand, though.  “What girlfriend? –he asked and smiled– I don’t have a girlfriend.”  Cool! Some of the alarms inside my head went off, but I still wasn’t completely happy with his answer. “Oh, since I saw you with that blonde girl at the disco…” I insisted.  “You mean Ivana?  Oh, no, she’s just a friend”, he replied.  [Check poll]

When we arrived to Alsina Buenos Aires, most of the guests were already there. The bar was already open and the drinks had started to make their way into the attendees. I wasn’t going to waste this opportunity so I made sure to make a Great Entrance. If I had known the DJ’s cell phone number, I would have asked him to play It’s Raining Men for my entrance, but anyway, the music was already thumping inside my crazy little head. We approached Gabriel, who fixed his eyes on Nacho as soon as he saw him. Unfortunately (or luckily, actually) he couldn’t talk because his jaw had just jammed from opening his mouth so wide in surprise at seeing me with such a gorgeous stud beside me. I was quick to introduce them while my roommate reached out for the arm of his new boyfriend, Rodri, who was extremely nervous due to the fact that this was his first time in a gay club. I looked at Gabriel with a straight face. “He’s so straight acting…” he babbled. “Of course he is, that’s why he’s with you”, I snapped. The furious expression on Gabriel’s face instantly changed when the sensual first notes of Dirty Dancing announced the arrival of the newlyweds. Thank God!

As soon as they were able to breathe after all the hugging, Fernando asked me where I had gotten that beautiful specimen, referring to Nacho, of course. I told him about all the things that happened that day, maybe with too many details judging by the fact that his smile was replaced with a frown. It’s just that Lucas and Paula’s separation reminded him of his own divorce to Laura, his ex-wife. That was a really bad time in Fernando’s life, not only due to the separation itself, but because of the cruelest consequence of it all: the misery that his 6 year old daughter, Noelia, had to be put through. Since I had already screwed it, I took advantage of the situation to get some things off of my chest and I asked him if he didn’t fear the possibility of an eventual separation from Scott. “Maybe… –he acknowledged– but you know what? I love this guy –he said while pointing at Scott, who was laughing with a group of friends– Wouldn’t it be stupid if I didn’t give it a try?”  Fernando’s words made me feel a lot better. Here was this person who had been through a painful separation and who still believed in love and decided to take his chance on a new relationship. What sort of impulse takes over us, many times against rational thinking, to still believe in love? I gave Fernando a break and I let him go. I didn’t want to keep asking him (or myself) about the future. I also didn’t ask him why Noelia didn’t attend the ceremony or the party.

Suddenly, Lucas appeared out of the crowd. There he was; our very own Paula’s abandoner, without a hint of depression, dressed in a painfully hideous beige suit. “I want to make a confession amongst guys”, he said. Fernando and I exchanged a quick and desperate look. “I feel 20 years younger! I’m happy!” he said while hugging us. He even patted our backs! And then, he escaped to the dance floor alone, with the intention of celebrating his newfound bachelorhood. “What a jerk!” I said angrily. “Did you see the way he’s dressed? He’s definitely straight!” Fernando said jokingly.  I took a quick look at Nacho who was at the bar and to my relief, I realized that he was very well dressed for the occasion, in spite of the fact that he basically had to improvise his outfit.  [Check poll]  “He’s gay! He’s gay!” I said to myself, although I apparently did it out loud because Fernando gave me a weird look. “All right, I’m not sure about Nacho’s sexuality”, I confessed to him. “Well, if he’s not gay, you can always convert him”, interrupted Gabriel with a bottle of water in his hand.  “I’m not going to rape him”, I assured him.  “Everybody’s gay until proven innocent”, insisted my roommate. Scott joined us to help us figure out my date’s sexuality by analyzing the way Nacho was smoking, over at the bar. According to the radiant American groom, Nacho was holding the cigarette with his index finger and his thumb, a gesture that was typically related to the detectives from those old French movies. That gesture was obviously more butch than sissy (in which case, he would have been holding the cigarette with his index and middle fingers in the style of the old Hollywood divas).  [Check poll]

I walked over to the bar, a bit dizzy due to all the doubts and the testosterone excess. Nacho had already ordered two glasses of champagne with strawberry juice.  I smiled.  [Check poll]  I told him that my favorite drink was Margarita, while he said that his favorite was beer; although he thought that champagne was more appropriate for this occasion. Beer?!  [Check poll]  I suddenly feared that this uncontrollable emotional rollercoaster would kill me before I could reach my 36^th birthday. In a desperate attempt to clear things up, I asked him if he wanted to dance. He answered with a smile, part shy and part guilty, and told me he didn’t like to dance, that he barely ever danced.  Scandal!  [Check poll]  I looked around, seeking help, but all my friends were already on the dance floor.  Fernando & Scott were dancing together happily. There was also Gabriel, executing his typically exaggerated dance moves (in spite of the mineral water). Next to him, Rodri was standing still, with his arms folded and a frightened look on his face. And Lucas…well… Lucas was dancing like a madman with Grace, Scott’s equally crazy sister (apparently, we “Argentineans” were starting to seem a bit more likeable to her).

Suddenly, I felt a presence standing next to me. It was Paula. “What-are-you-doing-here?” I asked her gesticulating desperately. My editor had thought about the advice I had given her that same afternoon and realized that I was right: Fernando and Scott didn’t have to pay for her personal problems. “Go home, Nacho, I can stay with Leandro now. You have to get up early tomorrow”, Paula told her brother. How could my luck change so many times on the same evening?! I looked at Nacho and Nacho looked at me. We both seemed like we wanted to say something but we couldn’t. It was Paula who spoke again. “What-is-he-doing-here?!” she asked us and now she was the one gesticulating desperately. Before we could do anything, Paula started walking towards the dance floor, more precisely, towards Lucas and Grace while carrying one of our red drinks. I ran behind her trying to avoid a tragedy (or a mess). My editor started screaming hysterically at her soon-to-be ex husband. Suddenly, all of the other guests were screaming as well.  Technotronic, was the soundtrack to the inevitable scandal that was happening. And I, just like Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard, decided to stand right between Paula and Lucas to stop them from fighting. Suddenly, a spurt of the red drink fell over my white shirt as the perfect symbol for my wounded soul.

I did what I had to do, which was basically lock myself in the bathroom to try to get rid of the huge red stain. While I struggled with the liquid soap over my delicate white shirt, Rodri came out of one of the stalls. “I got in there so I could pee in peace. This place is full of faggots!” he said while zipping up his pants. While I tried to digest his statement, I responded to him with the easiest and most honest answer that I could find: “Right”.  I instantly remembered that this was his first time in a gay club, so I sympathized with him. “Don’t worry about it, Rodri, you’re with Gabriel, nobody is gonna try to grope you or anything”. Rodri looked at me with all seriousness and made perfectly clear that he wasn’t with Gabriel, that he only came with him to the party because he was doing him a favor as a friend. “But I thought you two…” I started to say, while I realized that I didn’t understand what was going on. Luckily, Rodri interrupted me and made it very clear: “Hey dude, I’m not a fag, OK?” One more time, I tried to find the right answer, but all I could articulate was a simple “Oh”.

When I got out of the bathroom, everything was back to normal. I could even see Paula, casually chatting with Grace. Predictably, Lucas was not there anymore. Suddenly, a squeaky voice pierced my delicate eardrum. It was Gabriel. “I’m desperately looking for Rodri! I don’t know where he is!” I told him that he was in the bathroom, though I kept the rest of the details to myself. Gabriel hugged me, and I realized that nothing else that could happen that evening could surprise me anymore. “I’m in love, Leandro!” he said and went into the bathroom. I approached the bar since I urgently needed a Frozen Margarita or two. I started by ordering one to begin with. The bartender told me that I already had one prepared especially for me, courtesy of the “gentleman on the other end of the bar”. I looked up and there was Nacho. “You got a stain on your shirt”, he said as I approached him. It was like déjà-vu. “I’m sorry, I don’t have a handkerchief this time”, he apologized. “I thought you were leaving”, I said sheepishly. “I am, but I want you to come with me”. Silence. Actually, it was a rather long silence before I even dared say anything. “Why?” I finally asked him.  “Because this started as a commitment, but I ended up enjoying it –he said and added– And because I like you a lot, Leandro”.

Next post: Friday October 19th 

The images in the link “check poll” are self creation.